sun and corn field 23 Feb 2018


Do you like being lifted?

Do you perhaps remember being lifted as a child and feeling safe as you sailed through the air to be placed in your cot, or on to the floor, or into your mother’s arms?

As adults, being lifted seems to occur more rarely except when being given one in a car perhaps, or going up floors in multi-storey car parks or department stores, or whatever.

Unless, that is, we think of being lifted in a different way. Lifted emotionally by the kindness of a smile, for example. Or lifted culturally by a piece of music or prose which makes us feel good. Or lifted sexually by mutual attraction and love-making with the him or her of our choice. But the most elevating feeling of all is perhaps the one we notice least. The on-going feeling of caring, and being cared for, not just by family or life-partners, but also about and by life itself.

What exactly do I mean by that?

Well, I was watching the face of a child who had been crying a little and her mother lifted her into her arms which even as she sailed up from the ground brought a beatific, satisfied smile onto the little girl’s face. But what I particularly noticed was that she knew what being lifted up was like and what it meant and was able to be lifted emotionally by it too.

Not particularly remarkable you might think. And if only it were true of every small child in the world, it would be wondrous! (If only. But that is a subject for a different blog).

So many adults, and not just those who come to the considered decision that they want psychotherapy, know that they seem to have forgotten how to feel lifted except perhaps by drugs and alcohol and actually not even then when they think about it.

But don’t we need to access that safe feeling in our adult lives too, if we can? That feeling of being held, of lightness and of being cared for by life itself. But how?

I know I speak in generalisations which are not always true of everyone.  Nevertheless and once again I want to highlight perception. It seems to me that if we don’t perceive or notice how we feel, simply just feel it and move on, then our ability to focus our perception on our inner world diminishes. And over time, being so unused, it almost becomes redundant, like an appendix. Certainly less effectual.  And this is regardless of how developed and sophisticated our perception of the outside world may be.

So shine the light of your perception on your inner world, (hopes, fears, dreams, desires, thoughts, child-like feelings, etc., etc,.), and sometimes the very act of doing so, your perceptiveness itself, will lift you.

Blog written by Caroline Cairns Clery, Family Psychotherapist at The Surrey Centre

For more information on Carrie, visit: TheSurreyCentre/Counsellors


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